I want to get lost in this moment. I want to drown in the noises of this world. I want to swim to the middle of the ocean and then sink down to the deepest realm of life. It is this feeling that we live for. That awareness that whatever you are hooked up with right now is the very same force that will bring you to the kind of tomorrow that will satisfy both your curiosity and hunger for meaning. I dreamed of this. And I’m happy wherever I am right now.
For five months or so I felt I was floating back and forth, not knowing where to paddle or if getting out of the water was even an option. It was genuine bewilderment. I got lost in the part where I started seeking for answers without even any clearly phrased question in mind. I spent nights wailing in profound sadness, doubting every fiber of the value of my existence.
But I got where I wanted to be. I was spared from diving into something I didn’t even fully want in the first place. I got that one call, one opportunity I’ve been praying for the longest time. It almost felt serendipitous. Or maybe it was.
God has been watching over me all this time. While I was complaining about how every single thing didn’t make any sense, He has been busy making sure that everything falls into their rightful, perfect place. I was on the brink of giving up when the faintest ray of light from the end of the tunnel reached my vision. It was the last straw I could hold on to before finally letting go. And holding on to it, no matter how little the odds were, was all worth it. And it’s all because of Him.
I have never been this revved up for the future in a very long time. My hunger is back in the right place and I’m out to get what I came here for.
It feels good to fully embrace life once again. Let’s do this.
to see, feel and experience the world is a simple task that many of us fail to accomplish, or worse, even understand. existing is one thing, living is another. the universe did not happen to be ridiculously vast for us to just get stuck in one small corner wallowing in our small miseries.